Thursday, September 10, 2009


by Victoria Jackson

I’m lying in my Tiffany blue bedroom, in the dark, listening to the President tell lies. He’s so good at it, that he is smiling and lots of people are clapping.
He says, “Public Option. No one will have to change, if they like their present situation.” LIE.He says, “My plan will not add one dime to the deficit.” LIE. (Congressional Budget Committee speak up!)He says that if we don’t act now, the country will fall apart. LIE.He says that quality of health care won’t suffer. LIEHe says that there won’t be rationing and those that say there will be are liars. LIE.He says that the Republicans have no solutions to offer up. LIE (Several of them lift papers into the air.)He says that this is not socialism. LIEHe says this is the “moral” thing to do! LIE (Take money from the middle class and give it to the non-taxpayers and illegals?!)He says this won’t insure the illegals! LIE….
And then, wait, I choke on my caffeine-free Diet Coke… Like a voice from above, I think I just heard someone shout out, just what I was thinking, ”LIE!”
I can’t believe it! Someone used the real word, not the politically correct word, “Disingenuous!” Nancy Pelosi’s big, arrogant smile suddenly drops and she looks over to the Republican side of the room with the mean glare of a stern librarian! This is fantastic theatre!
Biden isn’t listening to a word of this speech. He’s trying to decide whether to wear a serious face, or a happy face, or a concerned face, or a mad face. So his expression results in a combination of all of the above.
I’m new to politics. Is it always like this?!
It’s gotten so bad that I’ve divided my friends into two categories:
1) Those who “Drank the Kool-Aid.”2) Those who “Get It.”
Or, the stupid and the smart. I just can’t respect people who are buying this charade, this sham, this takeover. I stare at them buggy eyed, with my mouth hanging open! Are they blind? Are they deaf? It’s driving me crazy! It doesn’t take a, well, a “bimbo” to realize what is happening!
The President continues, “I don’t have all the specific details ironed out yet!” Laughter! People laugh out loud! The President finally told the truth!!!
Then, he continues with his lies. FREE STUFF FOR EVERYONE!! YAY!! I’M THE MAGIC MAN!!!
I think of those Funnel Cakes I saw at the L.A. County Fair the other day. What is a Funnel Cake? I think it’s a deeply fried and refried glob of dough that’s covered with sugar and syrup and whipped cream. The President should say, “Free Funnel Cakes for everyone and there are NO CALORIES!!”
I turn the TV off, shut my eyes, and start to pray for the blind and deaf people in our country.
My friend calls me. She is a Hollywood director, not a conservative, not into politics. She whispers into the phone, “Hey Vic, what can I do to help the cause? This guy is making me feel scuzzy. He’s lying.” I flip her over from the “Kool-Aid” side to the “Get-It” side.
P.S. Joe Wilson is my hero.

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