Thursday, December 24, 2009

'Twas the night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and throughout the great city,

A blizzard was brewing, both terrible and pretty.

All the tools were hung in the great garage with care,

All parts under tarps, the old, new and spare.

My Rubicon and Wranglers were parked for the night,

While fluids dripped from seals leaking ever so slight.

I had just finished scrubbing and cleaning my hands

And all of my motors were perched on their stands.

When out on the road there arose such a clatter

I jumped from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window to see what I might find

I parted the curtains and lifted the blind.

I could scarce make out through the whirling snow

The objects approaching on the highway below

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

But nine Jeep Rubicons driven by tiny reindeer.

And a little old man, so happy and warm.

It must be St. Nick braving the storm

More surefooted than Chevys and Fords his convoy they came,

And on his CB he called them by name;

Now, TJ! Now, YJ! Now, CJ and JK!

On, KJ! on, WJ!, On, Willys! and Ruby!--as planned!

To the top of the hill! What a sight it was grand!

Use four wheel drive, lock the lockers and pull the lever!

As fast as the flakes by the blizzard's wind flew

When they met with an obstacle and the Rubicons bashed right through

And up to the driveways each house they did stop

Each Jeep filled with bolt-ons and parts to the top.

And then, in a twinkling, outside I did hear

The rumbling of the straight sixers as would cause any to fear.

Flicking off the flashlight and turning around

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed in red coveralls, and work boots as well

And his clothes were all greasy with an odd, oily smell.

A bundle of parts he had flung on his back

Not to mention the accessories and tools in his pack.

His Jeep - how it gleamed! It's spotlights - so bright!

The winch and the tow points showed he set it up right!

His trail rig was lifted some four inches tall

And the tires, 35's, were designed to rock crawl.

A ratchet and screwdriver he kept in one pocket

A torque wrench in the other along with a socket.

His face was quite haggard, his pack made him stoop

When he laughed his round belly shook like a bowlful of Goop.

He was chubby and plump like a jolly mechanic

And I laughed when I saw him, how could I panic?

A knowing wink of his eye and a shaking of his head

He loved all Jeeps, nothing more need be said.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work

And filled stockings with goodies; then turned with a jerk

He started his rig, which was clearly the best.

He sprang to his Jeep and called to his team

The Rubicons took off as their tailpipes belched steam.

And I heard him exclaim, clearing a snow bank with a leap,


Slightly Modified by Jeepin’ Al

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