Monday, January 28, 2013

The Private Military Contractor's Creed

The Private Military Contractor's Creed

I am a U.S. contractor. I look out for myself, the operators to my left and right, and no one else. I will always take advantage of the fact that I can finally tell military officers to pound sand, and will do so at every opportunity.

I am my country's scapegoat, the "plausible deniability"
warrior, and I love it.

Less than $700 dollars a day is unacceptable.

I am trained to eat things that would make a billy goat puke, but will refuse anything less than 60 dollars per diem because I am greedy.

I care not for ribbon's and awards for valor. I do this job for the 
opportunity to kill the enemies of my country, and to finally get that
boat I've always wanted.

I will be in better shape than 99% of the active duty personnel, although this is not hard.

I will equip myself with the latest high speed gear, and will trick out
my M4 until it weighs more than 24 lbs, not because it works better, but because it looks cool in the photographs.

I will carry more weapons, ammunition, and implements of death on my person, than an infantry fire team, and when engaged I will lay waste to everything around me.

In any combat zone, I will always locate the swimming pool, beer, and women, because I can.

I will deploy on my terms, and if it ever gets too stupid,

I will simply find another company that pays me more.

I swear!

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